How do you become more authentic in what you do? Something that I have become more aware of, especially in the space where I work, is that in the world we live in right now, we are consistently offering judgments about what we should or shouldn’t be or who we are in society today.
This is amplified by the amount of social media out there, whether it be on Tik Tok, Facebook, Instagram. I see so many people out there right now that are consistently trying to put on this mask of what who they are and to trying and fit in with what society thinks that they should be. This is the reason why I wanted to talk about authenticity on a deeper level.
When I was younger, I lost my hair through alopecia at the age of 10. I actually started wearing a sports cap from the age of 10. If you look at my school pictures, you’ll see me with my sports cap. I had exceptional circumstances, but I was so consciously worried about what other people thought about me. I felt so ashamed of myself. It affected my self-worth. It affected my confidence levels more than anything else.
These judgments about what other people think about us are often not true. We don’t really have any facts or evidence to suggest that what you suspect people are saying is actually true. It’s just made up in your head.
From the age of 16 going through to adulthood, I became stronger, more confident. Now, I don’t care about what other people think of me.
You may have heard the saying, “fake it ‘till you make it”. I really hate that because why should you fake it when you could really just be your authentic yourself? Stop trying to fit in with what you think society wants you to become or be or feel or express yourself in a particular way.
We become the average of the five people we spend most of our time with. Your friends, family and work colleagues want you to become a particular type of person. If you let other people run your life, I will guarantee that you will live a miserable life. Stop trying to fit in with society and with what other people want you to become.
Being authentically yourself is especially important if you run a business. I’m quite an intuitive person. Normally, within the first 10 seconds of someone speaking to me, I can figure out if someone cares if they’re on the right path or there’s something missing. Some of us think with our heads, some of us think all our hearts, but some of us think without guts. And normally, people who go far in business make decisions based on gut feeling. If the energy is right, the decision will almost always be right.
I actually call people out and let them know when something doesn’t feel right. I ask whether there is something they’re not telling me.
One of the best interviews I’ve done this year so far was with Dr. John Demartini. We were talking about living by your values. We should all know what our values are. If you don’t know what your values are, you need to become self-aware. Honestly identify your strengths or weaknesses and what you stand for. Ask yourself what impact you want to create and why.
For example, my values include being hard-working and results driven. To be authentic, transparent, and trustworthy are also some values that are really important to me. We essentially pick up those values through our life experiences, our childhood, what we learn from our parents, and mentors, as we grow up.
One of the things I see, especially in the entrepreneurial world is we don’t live by those values. You’ve got to make sure that you don’t compromise those values. As soon as you dis-align from your values, you’ll start to feel a disconnection. This is one of the reasons people may not feel satisfied in their work.
The disconnection from your values could also lead to copying the actions or content of others. Again, this could be an attempt to fit in with what society wants them to become. It could also be laziness. It could be an attempt to chase the money. What people don’t realise is that if you’re speaking to prospects or customers, they’re going to feel that disconnection.
Living without authenticity will lead to a really miserable life. Instead, focus on building strong and meaningful relationships, but be authentic, be yourself.
What do you need to do to ensure that you’re more authentic?
Number 1: Do what you’re passionate about.
For me, my mission is to help 100,000 entrepreneurs to get through these challenging times. I suppose my legacy is that I want to be known for helping people because my values are set around helping people and I genuinely love to help people. The more people that you help, the more that you are remembered for the right reasons.
Number 2: Love yourself.
This sounds really weird, but love yourself because if you love yourself, you appreciate yourself and you appreciate the people around you.
Number 3: Show compassion to others.
We’re going through challenging times right now. Some people are doing particularly well while some people are not. Showing compassion and empathy is super important.
Number 4: Have a conversation with yourself and identify your “Why”.
The clearer the purpose that you have, the more authentically you could come across the people.
Looking for more resources on living an authentic life? The Game Changers Experience podcast offers more tips and tricks to help you improve. Free on any podcast player.